Currently Playing Toxicity By System of a Down see related

Well today was pretty good. I went to school.. in math we watched sone bullshit fuckin' football movie.  LAME! And.. hmm.. oh after brunch I almost fuckin got suspended for wearing my Hatchetman. I was like, .... FUCK YOU, BITCH! Fuck that. I scrait up told Ms. Soto that I do not take Richard off. But she still hella tried to make me, telling me that it's a weapon and all this other shit. I was like whut tha fuck am I finna do with this as a fucking weapon!? Stab people with the hatchet? Come on! It was bullshit. She fucked off though which was smart of her cos I think I scared her cos I got scrait up bitchy. Anyways yeah.. at p.e. I hung out with Will and Kayla and some beaners and Kayla was talking alot of fuckin bullshit about Jake and that kinda pissed me off. She was saying shit like, he literally got on his knees and begged her to fuck him. I was like.. um sorry.. but no. Because that bitch is nasty and I know he won't even touch her.. at all. He thinks she's scrait nasty. Well he knows she is. Anyway after school I hung out with Cesar and Jerry and Katie. Then me and Jerry went to his house, and then from there we went to Jake's and bummed some smokes off him and blazed in his yard and got him contact high as fuck and it was fuckin funny, I was laughing sooo fuckin hard at him. Then yeah, we went on a stoggie mission but Damien wasn't home so we went to Kayla's and she had no smokes so we went to Katie's and hung out with her for a lil while and Jerry and Kevin killed a gnarly ass bumble bee for her. Then.. we went to Kevin's and ate his food and watched his t.v. like we always do. Haha that was fun. We watched the Rocky Horror Picture show and Uranium. It was fun. Then Stacey called me to pick me up so we all went out front and found Brian and Tim and some other guy so I hit Brian's sexy motherfuckin ass up for a cigarette but he said he didn't have any. Fuckin liar.. anyhow Stacey showed up and she got to see Brian so now she is my evidence in this house that  he is not gay like Dino says every guy is, and that he is a hott motherfucker. Haha so yeah. I came home and ate and now here I am. But I'mma go cos I gotta shower and I'm letting Jalicia vent on me so I'll update tomarrow if I can.

MMFCL!

Currently Playing This Is Love, This Is Murderous By Bleeding Through "On Wings Of Lead" see related

Yeah so I'm at my mom's right now and it's pretty fuckin lame because I'm sic as fuck. So this is fuckin gay. And I have to take "zithromax" which is BULLSHIT because I had to take 2 last night and it was motherfuckin con mai. I was in mass fuckin pain and I couldn't eat or sleep. So yeah my stomach is still cramped and shit and the doctor hasn't called my mom yet to have her go pick up my new medication but frankly, I'd just rather fuckin die of bronchitis than ever take another pill from those people ever again. Ahem anyways. Yeah I've spent today watching lame ass movies like My Girl and Napolean Dynamite. I never thought I'd say this but I wanna go back to school! Except without the Jerry part..... and without the school part.. just the going to Jake's house and sitting on his back porch smoking cigs part... yep. Blah............... I tried to write another letter... a better one.. a less pathetic one. Because I read over the first one and it made me cry and I was like god damnit. Yeah I sometimes just piss myself off because I just can't go up to him and just fuckin tell him. He probably thinks I've gone crazy or something.. cos I never really say anything to him when I see him.. because the whole time I'm just like "okay just fuckin say it!" and then nothing comes out. But then I end up realizing that the whole time he's talking he's like talking to me and then I feel like a retard because I didn't listen to anything he says.. whenever I see him all I really say is hi and bye.. it's times like those I wish I wasn't so god damn fucking scared shitless of rejection.  But then again no one really knows how I feel about him... everyone thinks I just like him or probably thinks that I only went out with him because I pitied him or some shit since he has cancer and all.. but fuck that.. if I went out with him out of pity then I wanna hear someone try and explain the way I came crawling back to him around this time a year ago. Because that shit was just pitifull.. through that whole time he was probably the one pitying me. And to be honest, I probably would have pitied me... because I was just down right pathetic and he scrait up ignored me. But I later found out that was because he had a cancer scare.. that was drama.. and the amazing thing is, everything I've ever had in my life, at one point I just gave up on.. never felt like I deserved it, and all that bullshit, he is the one thing I have just never given up on and it's actually surprising that after a year and a half I still haven't let him go. Even though I always felt like I didn't deserve to even be his friend.. I don't know.. it's weird.. I don't know how to explain it but something just won't let me let him go. So yes, that concludes everything anyone has ever asked me about why I went out with him and why I'm trying to get him back.

Anyways. I think I have a bit more online nerding to do. I guess I'll update whenever I can.

MMFCL!

New xanga... w00t!

MMFCL!